So This is What It Feels Like:(

I have had an incredible life so far and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams.  I have a faithful, loving husband who takes very good care of me, 7 healthy, wonderful children who make me proud every day, 4 sweet daughters-in-law who love my sons with all of their hearts, three beautiful grandchildren, a strong and healthy body and beautiful home and a religious base that gives me true peace and joy.  I don't think I have ever been truly depressed in my whole life.  Frustrated, sad, anxious, disappointed and many other things but not truly depressed so I could never understand how so many people in this world could be diagnosed with clinical depression or who claim to suffer from depression all the time and I could never imagine how that felt.  Well, with the ongoing joy that is called "menopause", I am feeling all sorts of things I have never felt before and hope to never feel again.  Depression is one of them.  Luckily it comes and goes very quickly and isn't debilitating but it feels yucky just the same and I can't imagine being one of those people who feels that all the time.  I started feeling it pretty badly when everyone left in August and my life changed dramatically.  I chose to pray earnestly for help in filling my life with lots of opportunities to help and serve others and make myself useful.  My Father in Heaven gave me multiple blessings in that area and I felt much better.  Then everyone came home for Christmas so I didn't have time to feel yucky and now they are gone again so I'm getting small flashes again.  It's hard to describe it but it is a feeling of hopelessness.  It feels like I've done what I came here to do and now the next many years just seem to stretch endlessly in front of me with no real purpose for my being here.  I absolutely know that this is not true in my heart but my head and the adversary keep trying to make me believe it is.  I feel like I've had every church calling there is, many times, and parented my little heart out and made every crafty thing and bought all the clothes I could want and done everything a jillion times and can't seem to find joy in doing any of it anymore.  This really does pass very quickly but it's disturbing to know that other people live like this all the time and I feel very sad for them.  I'm so glad I have a Heavenly Father is watching out for me and ready to help me when I need it.  I absolutely know that I am nowhere near done with what I need to do here on this earth and I know that there are many adventures awaiting me and my husband.  I just can't wait until my body is mine again and all these physical changes decide they are done reeking havoc with my life.  Millions have plowed through this challenge in their lives and I will too.  Bring it on!!!