I Miss Her

It's getting worse.  My friend has been gone for 2 years now and you would think I would be starting to adjust and accept, but I'm not.  I find myself thinking of her every day.  We used to call each other our personal therapists.  I'm going through the toughest time of my life and I don't have my therapist to unload on.  My kids tell me to find a new therapist but I can't and I don't want to.  I have never had someone so evenly matched to me in all the important ways.  We saw eye to eye on so many things that mattered, like marriage, kids, religion, parents etc.  Neither one of us had super strong relationships with our mothers and sisters so we turned to each other.  I have an incredible husband but he doesn't really get my emotions and feelings because he is a guy and will never feel them.  Also, he only wants to fix things and there is no way to fix them.  I just need to tell them and I want to tell them to someone who knows and has felt them and understands and she's not here and I am crying, again.  This was supposed to be the time that we worked in the temple together and traveled together and enjoyed our grandchildren together.  Now I'm doing all these things by myself and it's not the same.  She was strong where I was weak and vice versa so we completed each other and drew strength from each other.  I could say anything to her and I knew she would understand.  I don't have anyone in my life who fills that role.  I'm lonely and I'm sad and I miss her.