A Sad Observation

This morning, after reading the paper and some articles in a magazine, I thought, again, about the phenomenon and the tragedy of parents being totally shocked and blown away by the actions of their children.  These are children who have committed horrible crimes, or become terrorist sympathizers or who have committed suicide and their parents never saw it coming.

I have thought about this a lot over the years and feel very sad that our society has become one where the parents can't or won't get to know their children enough to recognize when they need help, serious help.  I understand that there are many single moms out there who are working multiple jobs to support their families and there are multitudes of people who are dealing with their own issues such as addictions, challenging marriages, health issues and many more but it saddens me that so many parents don't recognize the incredible influence they have over their children and how just a few minutes of attention and guidance each day could possibly avert so many tragedies.

I was raised to believe that children are a precious gift to be taught and loved and nurtured and that there was nothing more important I could ever do with my life than to fulfill that sacred calling.  I was blessed to be able to have the time to commit to that calling because my husband agreed that I could accomplish my job best by being at home with the children while they grew up so he worked hard to make that possible.  I realize that not everyone has that kind of support system.  I do, however, believe that all parents could do better at taking their job more seriously, no matter what their circumstances.  I think that they don't understand the impact they can have on their children's lives.  They underestimate their role as a parent.

When I think of one of my children doing something horrific, I can't really process it.  I know them so well.  I have made it my business to know them very well.  When they lived in my home there wasn't a day that would go by that I didn't talk to them and ask them about their lives and get to know their friends and their challenges.  With that kind of attention they didn't have time to slip away from me and become someone who could shock me with their actions.

I think parents are afraid of offending their children or making them uncomfortable by prying too much.  I'm quite sure there are things that each one of my children have done that I don't know about and wouldn't be very happy about but I know their hearts and I stayed close enough to them to be able to steer them back to where they needed to be before things got out of hand.  I wish all parents could realize that their children need them and want to be guided by them even if they may not act like it sometimes.  It is the most important job we will ever have and it doesn't last very long.  We have plenty of time once they are out of our homes to do what we think we want to.  I hope we won't take this responsibility for granted and that we will do our very best with these precious souls that God has entrusted to us.