Monday, December 14, 2015

Like Father, Like Son

I find it interesting that children are born with certain tendencies.  Some of my children sucked their thumbs when they were little.  Some didn't.  Only one sucked his fingers and his son now does the same thing.  I wonder if that tendency is hereditary or not.  Another son sucked his thumb and his daughter sucks hers.  My twins didn't suck anything and their children don't either.  The one who is breaking the trend is my youngest.  He sucked his thumb but his daughter sucks a pacifier.  Food for thought:)

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

A Sad Observation

This morning, after reading the paper and some articles in a magazine, I thought, again, about the phenomenon and the tragedy of parents being totally shocked and blown away by the actions of their children.  These are children who have committed horrible crimes, or become terrorist sympathizers or who have committed suicide and their parents never saw it coming.

I have thought about this a lot over the years and feel very sad that our society has become one where the parents can't or won't get to know their children enough to recognize when they need help, serious help.  I understand that there are many single moms out there who are working multiple jobs to support their families and there are multitudes of people who are dealing with their own issues such as addictions, challenging marriages, health issues and many more but it saddens me that so many parents don't recognize the incredible influence they have over their children and how just a few minutes of attention and guidance each day could possibly avert so many tragedies.

I was raised to believe that children are a precious gift to be taught and loved and nurtured and that there was nothing more important I could ever do with my life than to fulfill that sacred calling.  I was blessed to be able to have the time to commit to that calling because my husband agreed that I could accomplish my job best by being at home with the children while they grew up so he worked hard to make that possible.  I realize that not everyone has that kind of support system.  I do, however, believe that all parents could do better at taking their job more seriously, no matter what their circumstances.  I think that they don't understand the impact they can have on their children's lives.  They underestimate their role as a parent.

When I think of one of my children doing something horrific, I can't really process it.  I know them so well.  I have made it my business to know them very well.  When they lived in my home there wasn't a day that would go by that I didn't talk to them and ask them about their lives and get to know their friends and their challenges.  With that kind of attention they didn't have time to slip away from me and become someone who could shock me with their actions.

I think parents are afraid of offending their children or making them uncomfortable by prying too much.  I'm quite sure there are things that each one of my children have done that I don't know about and wouldn't be very happy about but I know their hearts and I stayed close enough to them to be able to steer them back to where they needed to be before things got out of hand.  I wish all parents could realize that their children need them and want to be guided by them even if they may not act like it sometimes.  It is the most important job we will ever have and it doesn't last very long.  We have plenty of time once they are out of our homes to do what we think we want to.  I hope we won't take this responsibility for granted and that we will do our very best with these precious souls that God has entrusted to us.


Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was AWESOME!  I had so much fun with my Utah crew.  We saw movies, Christmas lights at temple square in Salt Lake, cute boutiques in Bountiful, extended family in Provo and had a beautiful, delicious Thanksgiving dinner. I got to see a sister that I rarely get to see.  We stayed at Tanner and Alana's house most of the time but Hunter, Aleigh, Oaklyn and Savannah came and stayed there with us for part of the time.  We played Wii and Ava beat me most of the time.  (Vannie beat me all of the time).  We watched BYU kill Utah St. I love being with my family.  Even though it was freezing up there we still had a great time.  Family is forever and mine is Forever Moore.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Empathy

Empathy is a wonderful quality to possess but it can be really tough on leaky faucets like me.  Ever since I was a little girl I would "feel" everything way more than most.  When I see people experiencing emotions, I imagine myself feeling what they are feeling and it gets magnified like crazy.  If someone is crying  because they are happy or sad or hurt or any other strong emotion, I can't help but cry with them.  I don't even have to know them.  I just imagine what happened to them happening to me and I burst into tears with them.

I had a rough weekend this last weekend.  My husband and I went to a movie that I'm sure you've never heard of.  It was called "My All American" and I could have swam out of the theater because of the amount of tears I shed.  It was a true story and happened when I was 10 years old and I had never heard of any of the people involved but it could have so easily happened to me that I couldn't stop imagining how everyone involved must have felt.  I was feeling for just about every
character in the movie. It is about a college football player who dies of bone cancer in his sophomore year of college and the people he leaves behind.  I cried for his mom, his dad, his coach, his fiancĂ© and especially for him.  I felt everything they felt and I was dying.  I am the mother of a college football player.  I am married to his father.  I have grown very close to coaches who have grown very close to my children.  I have loved and married a college athlete.  It could have happened to me and I felt that so strongly.

I came home and saw on Facebook that some very close friends in my ward had to part from each other as one of the families moved away for a couple of years.  Looking at the pictures of their children, who are best friends, reminded me of when our family's best friends got moved out of our ward by boundary changes and we were heart broken.  Then that lead to thinking about the mother of that family who was my best friend and how she is in Heaven now and the tears just wouldn't stop flowing.  I was feeling for every one of those young moms  and their children who were now parted from each other for what will feel like a very long time.  They are all young enough to be my children and grandchildren but I felt their pain and sadness as if if were my own.  That's hard.

Once I'm in emotional meltdown mode it is very hard to stop.  Every little thing that feels sad in my life gets magnified so that I just can't seem to stop crying.  Sunday mornings are tough for me because that is one of the times that I miss my young family the most.  So, Sunday rolled around and apparently I wasn't quite done crying so I just let it all out and the weird thing was that I was still thinking of all of the people that I had already cried for, the movie characters and the ward friends and they just all jumbled up into one really good cry.   After I was finally done and dehydrated I felt much better.  None of those people benefited from my tears for them so I really wish I could get a grip and not have to have sore eyes for two days over people  who don't even know I'm feeling for them, ha ha! So, just so you know, if I know and love you then I am going to be crying for you during all your ups and downs whether you like it or not:)

Monday, November 23, 2015

Contention is of the Devil

I have an inordinately strong aversion to contention.  Of any kind.  Even if I'm not even involved.  It's a physical problem.  I can't stand it if I know people are mad at each other and I have a physical meltdown if I think someone is unhappy with me.  I can't listen to or watch one minute of political debates because they are almost completely made up of people being mean to each other or even just disagreeing with each other.  My stomach starts to ache and I get shaky and weak and I have to leave the room.  I couldn't stand having my children argue or fight with each other and stopped it as soon as it started.  As adults, if I hear them strongly disagreeing with each other, I have to leave the room.  I really can't believe that the Lord sent such a wimp down to this hard world.  I'm pretty sure that's why I don't actively cultivate friends and why I prefer much smaller groups or no one at all.  I'm simply scared of offending someone or seeing them get offended at each other in front of me.  See?  Wimp. I'm sure I've only made it this far because I hang out with people who have been taught and believe that contention is of the Devil and they are trying to be Christ-like in their treatment of others so there are less frequent episodes of contention taking place and much quicker repentance and amends being made.  Everybody just needs to love and appreciate everybody else.  Please!  World Peace:)

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Observation

On my walk today I was thinking about my week and what I have planned and I remembered that we are going to a wedding reception this weekend.  Luckily, I didn't have to worry about what I was going to give the happy couple as I have been giving the same thing to everyone for several years.  Having 6 married children and listening to them talk about their weddings I found that they all wanted just one thing for their weddings, money.  They had gotten all kinds of useful stuff at the bridal showers and they discovered that registering was basically a joke as all the husbands just shot the gun at everything in site.  They all got multiple things that they had to take back because either they got more than one of them or they didn't really want them in the first place, they just had to put something on their registry.  They all said that they wanted more cash for their honeymoons and that they enjoyed picking out stuff together after they had settled into their places.  So, I give money to every newly wed couple and know that they will use it however they want and be grateful for it.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

I Love You

There has been quite a bit written about people's individual love languages or how they show and receive love.  There are those who like to do things for people and have things done for them.  Some like to give gifts and be given gifts in return.  Others like to give and receive praise for their actions.  Then there are those who like to say and hear "I love you".  It is my opinion that even though you might be dominant in one or the other categories there is no more direct way to express love than to just say it.  I think that everyone appreciates a heartfelt "I love you" once in awhile.  The very best, in my opinion, are the times when a very young child says it to you.  You know that there is no ulterior motive and that they really feel it in their hearts because they are too young to have any deceit involved.  It melts my heart when my grandchildren tell me that they love me.  It's pretty cool when my kids say it too because we aren't around each other very much anymore so when they say it, it feels really real, especially the "out of nowhere", spontaneous ones.  I told myself a long time ago that if I was ever feeling an abundance of love for someone at a certain time, enough for it to be a conscious thought, then I would come right out and say it to them.  I love my family so much that they hear it, spontaneously, from me a lot and even if it's not their primary love language they are pretty good at convincing me that they love me too when they say it back.  You can never go wrong or give the wrong message when you just come out and say those wonderful words so I highly recommend that they become a large part of your vocabulary.  The End.