Coaching/Parenting?

Yesterday my son, Kyle, coached his first basketball game and his team got cremated. He came home so sad and depressed and...embarrassed. I listened as he explained what happened and it came to mind how close coaching and parenting are. He said that they had worked and worked on certain things in practice and that he had told them things and carefully explained other things that would help them win. When it came down to being in a real game, apparently everything they had practiced and learned went right out of their heads and they just choked. He said he felt really upset with them and embarrassed because the gym was packed and he felt like all the parents were judging him because it was his job to teach his players how to win. These boys are in 6th and 7th grade and this is their first experience on a competitive school team. Kyle has been away at school and has only been able to hold about 3 practices with them. Still, he expected more out of them and was very disappointed. He wanted to go out there and play "for" them or somehow "make" them be better. He couldn't understand how they didn't know everything he knows about basketball and managed to forget that he has been playing for 20 years. The boys got distracted by girls in the stands and their parents yelling directions at them and the other team being bigger and better than they were. All of this sounds so much like parenting. Every parent knows that whether it's right or wrong, people judge you by how your kids turn out. It's your job to teach them everything and if they screw up then it has to be your fault. You teach and explain and take them to church over and over again and still they get distracted when they get into real life situations. You don't understand why they can't see everything as crystal clear as you do even though you have lived about 30 years longer than they have. I told Kyle that to judge his team's performance on one game (their first one at that) was just plain not fair. That may very well be the best team they face all year. They may turn around and astonish him with a blow-out of their own on the next game. All he can do is be patient, point out, in detail, what each one can work on to better their game and then just practice, practice, practice and don't give up. I also told him that, yes, their performance is a direct reflection on him but that he can only teach them correct principles and then whether he likes it or not, they have their free agency and they WILL govern themselves. This is a great lesson for him and he is already trying to think of ways to help them improve and to help himself improve. Coaching, like parenting, doesn't happen overnight. It takes years of practice and humility and hard work. Hang in there, Coach Moore. Go Bulldogs!