Spring

Spring and I have always had a bittersweet relationship.  I was born on the first day of Spring and I absolutely love the beautiful weather, especially where I live.  It's warm with cool breezes and all the flowers come out and everything seems new and fresh.  But, ever since my children started school, many years ago, I have associated Spring with the beginning of the end.  Every year at this time they start having "lasts" at school.  Each time my children would leave a grade I would think, "Well, they are done with that forever" or "They will never do that again".  High school was always the hardest because I would feel the sad feelings of every senior who would be missing the only life they had ever known and missing the friends they would probably never see again.  Personally it was the beginning of the mission countdown for me.  This Spring is especially tough because it's the beginning of the end of a lot of things.  I only have one daughter and she is as close to me as a second skin.  She is coming to the close of so many things soon.  She is almost out of Young Women's which is the youth group in our church.  She is going to her last youth conference and girl's camp.  She is winding down our family's high school experience for the last time.  I have absolutely loved high school.  Much better than when I was actually in it.  I won't really miss it when it's over but I really did have a great time going for the last 18 years.  We will go through our last day of seminary, our last senior awards night, our last finals and AP tests, our last graduation and grad night.  Then, our last child will leave our home and start her own life.  You don't know how hard it is to type those words.  My children are my life and I am almost done with my favorite part of raising them.  I absolutely love interacting with them as adults and parents and I am looking forward to being free to go and visit all of them whenever I want but it's going to be a very sad farewell for me when my last little bird leaves our nest. No more waking up to chat with her every morning between seminary and school.  No more waiting until 3:00 comes around to hear about her day.  No more special goodnight rituals.  I know I have months before that actually happens but Spring always signals the start for me.  Luckily, Spring, starting next year you and I are going to have a vastly different and very wonderful relationship:)