Grandmas

Carrying on with that "22" idea from a little while back, I was thinking about being a grandma.  When I think of a grandma I think of my grandmas.  I certainly don't think of me!  I had two grandmas that were totally opposite in every way.  One was the stereotypical grandma who baked really well and knew how to do crafts and made us crafty little dolls and old-fashioned treats.  She taught us nursery rhymes and told us stories.  She lived in a tiny house and never had very much money.  Very old fashioned and lovable.  She was tiny, frail, meek and soft spoken.  She was from Idaho and seemed to be old from the moment I can remember her.  She was sick in bed for many years before she passed away.  My other grandma was my "nana" and she was a hoot!  She was a rich, Los Angeles "socialite" who got married like 5 times and outlived all of her husbands so she ended up dancing with boyfriends a couple of times a week into her 80's.  She was loud and confident and very opinionated.  She sang all the time.  Every thing you said could be turned into a church hymn by her.  She served several missons as an older single lady and didn't slow down until the day she died. She was bossy and crazy and fun.  I'm pretty sure she was telling my mom what to do on her deathbed.  In remembering these traits of my grandmas I can't help but wonder how my grandchildren will see me in a few years.  I'm trying to take the good parts of both of my grandmas and of my own mother and incorporate them into my relationships with my grandchildren.  I want to be steady and have traditions with them but I also want to be spontaineous and fun.  I want to guide them but not boss them.  I want them to trust and respect me and want to come to my house to spend time with me.  I already love them so much I can't believe it.  My whole life's quest up to this point was to be a good mother, now it's time to work on being a "great" grandma.  I'm pretty excited for this ride:)

Memory Lane

While in Utah this last week we took Savannah on a little tour of the past.  We took her to our old apartment on the BYU campus and took some pictures.  I sent them to Tanner and Logan and told them that that was where they were conceived.  As expected Logan texted back, "Right there on the stairs?  That must have been cold".  He's such a dork.  We then visited my father's grave and marveled at how perfect the spot was for him.  He is from Idaho and loves the wide open spaces of nature so he is buried up on a hill looking out over vacant land with no houses in sight.  It was fun to visit old memories in my mind of time gone by.  I've had an exceptionally good life and I'm very grateful for that. 

Mommy or child?

Well, I'm home from Utah now and I've decided that even though I had a good time with my Mom and siblings and their families and I enjoyed not being in charge of the whole Thanksgiving meal for a change, I would much rather be a mom  than a child.  I missed my kids like nobody's business.  I had two of them there but they were intermingled with cousins so I didn't even get to sit by them.  This was an eye-opener for me.  It won't be very long before my kids are going to want to be parents more than they want to be children.  They are moving in that direction even as we speak.  Such a bittersweet feeling.  I love them so much that I want them to experience that kind of love for their own children but on the other hand, if they move on to that phase of their lives then where does that leave me?  I'm already having a terrible time getting into the Christmas spirit.  I don't have the same excitement while decorating my house and I'm not getting the same joy even looking at it almost done.  I do it for them and they aren't here to enjoy it.  Buying them gifts is also feeling a little awkward because I feel like some of the things I am getting them are probably things that wives would like to get them.  I think I will start some new and different traditions next year to adjust to my new role.  Just writing that makes me feel a little better.  Since I can't stop them from growing up then I will just have to adjust and become the best mother-in-law and grandma I can be.  I am now committed to making this a very Merry Christmas - one way or another:)

Happy Thanksgiving!

We are heading out to Utah today to visit my son and his wife and my family for Thanksgiving.  It feels very weird to have my whole family spread out all over the country on Thanksgiving.  We will only be taking our baby with us and only visiting one son.  Everyone else is having Thanksgiving without us.  This has never happened to us before.  I don't like it!  It's very hard to give up children and traditions that you've had around for 30 years.  I'm just thankful that they all have someone to spend it with and that they are all safe and healthy.  I want all of them to know how much I love them but they don't even read this thing so I guess I'll have to tell them for the 10 millionth time.  I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday!

Hair

I find it fascinating how important hair is to girls.  It's way more important than it should be.  The way our hair turns out in the morning when we style it pretty much determines our mood for the day and a bad color or cut can send us over the edge.   Thus the very famous saying "Bad hair day".  My hair has had a life of it's own.  Looking at pictures from throughout my life is like looking at multiple people.  I have had nearly every color, cut, and style that hair can have.  I used to get very bored with my hair and want to change it all the time.  I find it funny that now that I'm older I have finally settled on the style that my father and my husband have liked from the very beginning; long, brown and straight.  This is what I was born with and what suits me best.  It's also the cheapest to maintain; no coloring or cutting.  It only took me a half of a century to figure that out.  Even though it looks O.K. on me I'm still going to have all of the women in my world have waist-length blonde curly hair:)

I'm Feelin' 22!

I had a very interesting and comforting thought a few days ago and I thought I would share it.  As I get older I realize that my knowledge gets broader (along with my waistline) but that my spirit still feels like it's about 22.  I look in the mirror or hear teenagers talking in their silly voices and feel so old and experienced and mature but in my heart I still have the same feelings as when I was 22.  Sooo, I was wondering if our souls might not just be 22!  When we get resurrected we will be restored to our most perfect self, the self that is full grown, has the most hair, is in the best shape (usually) and as close to perfect as we ever get and for most people that is about 22.  I can't think of anything better than feeling 22 but having the knowledge and experience of about 90.  I don't know deep doctrine that well so I am just going to go with my theory for now and enjoy being 22 forever:)

I'm Done... I think

After many many hours of contemplating and then assembling I think I am finally done with the decorations for the inside of my house.  I need a few more lights up but I'm too pooped right now.  Each year I say it's too much work and I'm not doing it but each year I give in and I'm always glad I did.  So, here's the finished product (until I decide to move something...again:)

Mommy and Daddy Forever

Some things never change and I'm so glad.  I hope they never do.  I love it when I get a text from one of my grown, married, daddy sons telling me about a good grade on a test or a new church calling or some other accomplishment.  I'm sure his wife is proud of him but he has a history with his mom of years of making sure homework is done and urging him to get good grades and study hard and fulfill his church assignments and choose the right, etc.  I  have always had a vested interest in him doing well and he knows it.  I have praised and "victory danced" and mourned over test scores and poor choices and victories with him for so many years that it's just habit now for him to let me in on his successes and failures and I love it! I also love hearing my dear husband giving advice and help over the phone about insurance policies and career decisions and "head of the household" matters and gospel doctrine to our grown sons.  I know they respect him and look up to him so much and he deserves it.  Children will always need their parents even if it's just for a little "Good job, son" and I am eternally grateful for that little bit of mercy in the ever painful "letting go" process.  I am also ridiculously thankful that I had a girl last and I hope she never ever ever (a little T-Swift there) stops needing her mommy.

Hmmmm

Well, I've started the Christmas decorating but it's not bringing me the same joy that it has in years past.  It is a ton of work (way more than is healthy) and there aren't nearly as many people around here to appreciate it as there have been in past years.  It is also making me really miss my missionary son who is the one who loved it the most.  Half of my kids aren't around here to see it and the ones who are don't really care one way or the other.  The older I get, the faster time flies so it seems silly to do so much work assembling for such a short amount of time of enjoying.  I know my husband loves it because he hears me groaning and complaining about how hard it is and he tells me to slow down and don't give up.  That keeps me going.  I know I will be glad I did it when we all sit around the fire and enjoy the lights and ribbons and sparkly things all over the house.  I will post pictures when I get it all done. 

Awwww

This just warms my heart.  Mommy and her sweet boy decorating their tree together.  Love it:)

VOTE!!!

I find it very disturbing that many young people I have talked to lately say their parents aren't voting in this election.  We live in a free country that allows us to pick our leaders.  There are sooo many other countries that don't allow that and their people are so jealous of us.  We can and yet some don't.  Why?  Why bother living in a free country if you aren't going to take advantage of those freedoms?  I wonder if they are leaving it up to "everyone else" to take care of things for them.  So not fair.  Do your part, America!  I have raised several voters but I can't do it by myself.  Kids, encourage your parents to vote and when you are old enough, make sure you do your part to keep this country the greatest in the whole world.  I'm now stepping off my soapbox for the day:)

Monday Savers

Normally Mondays are viewed as the worst day of the week because they follow the weekend and start up the work/school week.  These two darling boys make Monday my favorite day:)  They are both missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and they get to write emails on Monday mornings.  I plan my day around these emails.  I have to be home in the morning to get them.  They are my lifeline to these sweet boys; one of whom is my blood relative and the other might as well be.  Hunter baptized Josh a little over a year ago and now they are both away from home trying to teach the gospel of Jesus Christ to the people of Ohio (Hunter) and the Philippines (Josh).  I am so proud of both of them; Hunter for being a great example and Josh for being in tune to recognize the truth when he heard it.  I am very aware that this is probably the hardest thing these boys will do in their young lives and I know they will be blessed for their sacrifice.  I love them both with all my heart:)

I...Must...Control...Myself

Now that Halloween is over I have the greatest itch to start decorating for Christmas and if Hunter were home I would already be halfway done.  He is the child that on Halloween night would say to me, "OK Mom, let's start the Christmas decorations tomorrow".  I am going to try to hold off a little longer this year since I really do feel silly when people come over in the first week of November and my house is all decked out for Christmas.  In the past I have left only the kitchen table decorated for Thanksgiving and had the rest of the house all Christmasy.  This year we are going to Utah for Thanksgiving so I will feel a little more justified in starting early since we won't have to mess with mixing holiday decorations.  I walk around looking at my house and planning what I will do with the warehouse size amount of Christmas decorations I have stored in every nook and cranny of my house, in both garages and in the shed.  Luckily, I have a husband who loves these decorations as much as me and the kids and if he sees an inch not decorated he says, "That looks a little bare over there, why don't you go find something to fit there?"  :)  Is he the greatest or what?  What girl wouldn't love to hear those words?  The feelings I get at Christmastime are like no other.  Every good emotion is magnified a million percent.  I feel love and charity and gratitude and joy in great abundance.  There is nothing like having a scented candle lit, all the Christmas lights on, a puzzle halfway done, Christmas music on and my loved ones gathered all around me.  I am tingling just thinking about it:) Just a few...more...days!!!!

Halloween

There are some people who love Halloween (the Schroeder girls) and then there are the rest of us.  I usually just get through Halloween so I can enjoy the "real" holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas) but this year I really enjoyed watching my little grandson experience his first real Halloween.  He was fascinated that he could win a cupcake just by walking around in a circle on some numbers.  He loved watching popcorn pop right in front of him through a glass popcorn cart and then getting to eat as much as he wanted.  The crowning glory of the night, though, was watching him realize that just by uttering some magic words (Trick or Treat!) he could get people to put candy in his little pumpkin!  And then he got to eat it!! Amazing!  It was so fun to watch.  I really missed my little Rapunzel and her baby sister who are up in Oakland but I am very thankful for modern technology that let's me "see" them without really seeing them.  Halloween is for children and it doesn't matter if they are yours or your childrens':)