Changes

Those who know me well know that my husband and I "created" our house through a series of remodels.  It started out as a normal sized, simple home that barely fit our family and through many years and hours of back breaking labor became a much larger and much different looking home that fit our much larger family.  In short, I love my home.  I have spent countless hours decorating it and enjoying it.  The majority of our family memories took place in this home.

Recently, however, I have realized that the source of light and happiness is no longer contained in this "place".  It has spread out to Arizona and Utah and La Habra and though I still live in a lovely and very comfortable home it doesn't really feel like home anymore.  For the first time, ever, I have entertained thoughts of living somewhere else, closer to the source.  At times I feel traitorous to the sight of so many memories and at other times I feel a sense of freedom at the thought of starting over somewhere else.

I had a very close family growing up and we lived in a magical place that brought me great happiness.  We took our family back to that house many times to let them feel of the love and closeness of Grandma and Grandpa and told them of my childhood memories.  When my parents decided to sell and move to Utah I thought my heart would break.  I couldn't imagine not going back to that house anymore and I certainly couldn't imagine anyone else living in "our" house.  We have spent many more years going to Grandma's house in Utah than we ever did going to the house in Bennett Valley so now my kids know the Utah house as the extended family house.  I don't miss the Bennett Valley house at all anymore.  I realize that it isn't the house at all.  It's the people in it.

If we ever do sell this house and move then I know my children will mourn greatly because we made the best memories ever here but I know that they will eventually realize, as I have, that it isn't the house at all that brings all the joy and happiness.  It's the people in it.  We are now "Grandma and Grandpa" and wherever we are will be the "family" house.