Who Am I?

Blogs are such odd things. Is it really healthy to spill your guts out to total strangers? O.K. not total strangers but still... these things are like public journals. The whole concept is very strange to me yet here I am writing one. I find it therapeutic to write things out that I am feeling but I feel a little silly thinking that anyone else will care. Still, I enjoy reading other peoples' thoughts and feelings so I guess it can't hurt to send mine out there as well. I have been pondering lately about the numerous roles I am playing right now. I have two single sons who don't want to be single living with me right now. I have two married sons who I miss very much and even though I love their wives I am still kind of wishing my little boys were MY little boys. I have a missionary who I am just missing, period. I have a teenage boy at home (my sixth) who you would think I could raise in my sleep after having done it so many times but for some reason is presenting me with new challenges. I don't know if I'm getting old and tired or if he is just bringing new stuff to the table but I'm finding that I can't really just sit back and relax yet. Then, of course, I have a brand spanking new experience ahead of me - A TEENAGE GIRL! Granted, she is the easiest, most wonderful girl in the world but she is still something absolutely foreign to me, a girl. Add to all of this the roles of mother-in-law (a little harder than I thought) and grandmother. How many things can one person be for heaven's sake? I know I don't really have one foot in the grave but I am feeling a little old to be going through so many things at the same time. In some ways I think this all would be easier if I were a little younger but in other ways I guess I need the wisdom of a long life to get me through it all. I know I have ridiculously high expectations for myself. I want to be the best wife, mother, mother-in-law, daughter and grandma in the whole world. I know it's worth all the effort I can possibly put into it but...sometimes it gets a little daunting. Now that I've had my little pity party I think I'll go take a nap.